WE SUFFER SILENTLY WE ARE ISOLATED.

NOTHING, ADEQUATELY DESCRIBED THE FIRST 7 YEARS OF MARRIAGE...BUT I ENDED UP IN THE LIBRARY LOOKING UP SPOUSAL ABUSE ("OH, PLEASE, DON'T LET ANYONE SEE ME WITH THIS BOOK') I HAD TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS WRONG....AND SOMETHING WAS VERY WRONG INDEED.

MY SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH BROUGHT ME TO THE LIBRARY, WHERE I LOOKED UP BATTERED WIFE SYNDROME, BUT THAT DID NOT SATISFY ME. THERE WAS MORE...SO MUCH MORE..
THOUGH THE BEHAVIORAL SYMPTOMS WERE SIMILIAR, THERE WAS A PIECE MISSING...

MY EXPERIENCE WAS SO UNIQUE AND HORRIFYING THAT I JUST KNEW THERE HAD TO BE ANSWERS.
I, ACCIDENTALLY, STUMBLED ACROSS SOMETHING CALLED: PTSD. THERE IN FRONT OF ME. ON A SIMPLE WHITE PAGE. A PAGE THAT WOULD ALTER THE COURSE OF THINGS DRASTICALLY FOR BOTH MY HUSBAND AND ME. IN PERFECT BLACK AND WHITE, MY LIFE, HIS LIFE AND BOTH OUR BEHAVIORS WERE BEING DESCRIBED TO A FAULT. HAD THEY BEEN IN MY HOME? WATCHING? HELL, I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS BOOK MYSELF!
...ALL THE BEHAVIORS
...ALL THE CONSEQUENCES,
THE WHOLE MOTHER- LOAD THAT COMES WITH PTSD. AND I,LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD (1973) WAS SEARCHING FOR REASONS, PTSD... WHO KNEW?

MY BROTHER HAD GONE TO GERMANY...NO WORRIES.
THE GUY I WORKED WITH WENT TO GERMANY....NO WORRIES.

ALTHOUGH EVERY NIGHT, ON THE "HOMEFRONT" (YEAH, THEY CALLED IT THAT) OUR TELEVISIONS BROUGHT THE WAR INTO OUR HOMES. WE SAW WAR SO REAL THAT IT WAS HONESTLY DISTURBING...REAL YOUNG MEN IN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS-GUT-WRENCHING-SCARE-THE SH*T-OUT-OF-YOU-WAR....
NEVERMIND, WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO THEM. I WENT THROUGH MY ENTIRE TEEN YEARS FROM 10-18YEARS OF AGE IN THE 60'S. SO WHILE I WAS ALL ABOUT LOVE AND PEACE AND FLOWERS IN MY HAIR, HE WAS A TEEN AGER FIGHT TING FOR HIS COUNTRY AND HIS LIFE. WE DID NOT KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE VIETNAM.

UNLIKELY AS IT SEEMS, WE MET AND FELL IN LOVE IN 1973.